waking up too early

May 11, 2007 at 12:22 pm (Uncategorized)

it was a long time ago that i met evil for the first time.  i didn’t recognize it at first…until it was too late.  since that day, i’ve wondered where innocence goes when it is lost.  is it like the sock in the dryer?  somewhere in the universe, is there a tub of matchless socks next to a tub of stolen innocence?  perhaps.

but, perhaps not.  perhaps innocence is never fully lost, only dimmed a bit when evil comes around.  perhaps the blood of Jesus is the key to restoring what i thought was gone.  perhaps grace really is sufficient.

there comes a time when we must all face the dark memories of yesterday…but there also comes a time when we must stand up and turn on the light in order to disperse them.  if those things are a foreshadowing of what it is like to be without grace, then i’ll take a lifetime of memories with some grace to absolve the pain.

there is something beautiful about not being worthy…about being desperate.  behind me are all the reasons of why Jesus should spend His time on someone else.  but that is what makes grace so addicting:  death is deserved, yet life is found.  it wasn’t a secret, Jesus knew ahead of time all that i would encounter…and He could have chosen to remain silent as i cried out for rescue.

but He didn’t.  before i asked, He had already provided grace.  before i needed it, He had already prepared a garment of His righteousness for me to wear.

i cannot attain true beauty or restoration.  grace grants it in her own time.


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