July 31, 2006 at 10:50 pm (Uncategorized)

i got a tattoo about 3 years ago…just over my left ankle. i’m not sure why i feel as though i have to defend that decision, but i do. several years ago, i decided that it would be well worth my time to walk away from Christianity. long story short, the Lord worked a miracle in my life and taught me what Truth is. i have been in a passionate pursuit of that Truth ever since. hence my decision to use the word “truth.”

But if your slave, because he loves you and your family
and has a good life with you, says, “I don’t want to
leave you,” then take an awl and pierce through his
earlobe into the doorpost, marking him as your slave
forever. ~Deuteronomy 15:16

is it Biblical to get a tattoo? i don’t know. am i blaming my tattoo on an old testament ritual? not in the slightest. however, after months of searching, i finally realized the Truth. my tattoo simply serves as a reminder that i love my Master and i do not want to leave Him. i was bought by Him and for Him, and i am His forever.

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July 22, 2006 at 5:05 pm (Uncategorized)

i love my job…i really do. this is the longest i have stayed in one place doing one thing (by one thing i mean many things). it has been such an incredible journey getting to this place, and i can see God’s guiding hand when i look at each step i have taken. i have never felt more joy and more peace than i feel right now. sure, there are things i want and places i want to go, but i am so content in my circumstances.

all of that to say, i feel very restless. satan knows my weaknesses and he is definitely using my tendency to get distracted to his advantage. i have such a problem with looking at other people and seeing where God has them, and wondering why i am not there too. it is funny that the joy of seeing what God does in other people’s lives can be used (by satan) as a foothold for envy. i have always struggled with feelings of inadequecy and ineptness, and sometimes that problem is exacerbated by the fact that i am surrounded by such Godly, visionary people of integrity. they should spur me on to greater things and inspire me to be all God designed me to be; instead, i get bogged down by attempting to fulfill everyone’s calling but my own.

i’m learning…i truly am. i am my own person and God has designed me to accomplish certain things. i need to view every moment as a divine opportunity to fulfill His purpose and to lead the world to the Truth.

He told them, “You don’t get to know the time. Timing is the Father’s business. What you’ll get is the Holy Spirit. And when the Holy Spirit comes on you, you will be able to be my witnesses in Jerusalem, all over Judea and Samaria, even to the ends of the world.”
Acts 1:8

Get insurance with God and do a good deed,
settle down and stick to your last.
Keep company with God,
get in on the best.
Psalm 37:4

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July 15, 2006 at 9:50 pm (Uncategorized)

the Lord has been trying to teach me something. i haven’t wanted to pay attention to Him, much less listen to what He wants to say. i know exactly what it is….i just don’t want to deal with it. i tend to go thru cynical phases, and this has been one of them i have let myself get so hard-hearted in regards to certain (most) things and can’t seem to figure out how to throw the stones out.

tonight, i went to kohl’s and looked at baby clothes for my friend, Jessica and her sweet (new today!) baby, Caden. my maternal instinct kicked in (i didn’t know i had one) and felt something in my heart. when i arrived at the register, there was a sweet baby girl (maybe 2 weeks old) and i felt as though someone had kicked me in the gut. i had convinced myself that i don’t need any of those things…that is called a self-reliant, self-loving, self-righteous and dangerous independence.

we can never be truly grateful for what we have until we look at what we have lost. lately, i have been faced with the yesterdays i lost and it makes today seem all the more precious. i hope that i learn to love deeper and harder…tomorrow, i don’t want to regret today.

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